?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Blue Angels

Just got back from an office "event", going to a business manager's house on Mercer Island to watch the Blue Angels practice. It was...interesting. It's been a long time since I saw an air show, and I'd forgotten a few things. Such as, I'm not a huge fan of air shows. They're too loud, it's nerve-racking, especially when they get super close, and...they were one of my father's favorite things.

I grew up on military bases, because my father was career Air Force. Military bases looooove air shows. LOVE. So, every summer, at least once (often twice), out would come the planes, and everyone would ooh and aah and stand out in the sun staring up. I wasn't a huge fan even then, but my dad loved it so much, watching the planes fly in formation and talking about this kind or that, that I was happy to go, just to see him act like an excited little kid.

It's been 14 years since he passed, and every now and then, something like this will come up and I'll think, "Man, I wish Dad could see this." And then it hits me again like it just happened yesterday. I start imagining what life would be like if he were here - how would he get along with Eric? Would he like Seattle? We never lived on the West Coast as a family - we were in Maryland when he passed. Would I even be here if he hadn't died then?

It's a pointless exercise, and yet I find myself doing it over and over. It's not exactly the best mindset to be in when going back to work. At the same time, it makes me feel a little, tiny bit like he's still here. I'm terrified that someday, even that little bit will be gone.

So, now that I've depressed the hell out of everyone, what are you doing this weekend? :)

Comments

( 2 bubbles )
pict_shrink
Aug. 4th, 2012 01:07 pm (UTC)
Or you could look at it like, Gee I remember how much my dad would've loved this event, and how much I liked seeing him enjoy something so much. Find the positives in the memories.





java_fiend
Aug. 4th, 2012 03:33 pm (UTC)
I think it's natural to have those thoughts and feelings. Don't beat yourself up over it too much. And no matter what, no little bit will be gone so long as he's in your heart and memory. And that's a good thing. Be gentle with you. *HUGS*
( 2 bubbles )

Latest Month

May 2015
S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner