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Ketchup

So.

Major breakdown a couple of weeks ago - very depressed, very suicidal, sheer luck that I didn't do anything. Went home for a couple of days, and hit a turning point. For the moment, the battle is slowly moving uphill. (The meds are finally starting to work, too.)

Went to Mom's office Christmas party - I was the youngest person there by a long shot. Interesting to meet the people Ma's complained - I mean, talked - about so much.

My cousin and his wife had a baby on the 20th - Mackenzie Grace. She looks like a big Cabbage Patch Kid. Abominably cute.

One of my closest friends from London, Chip Gilliam, was killed in a car accident on the 20th. I found out yesterday.

Went to a mini-Christmas party at Dustin and Brian's on Wednesday - watched movies, played a couple of games, basically got out of the house and had a really good talk with Brian on the way home. Something about long car rides just opens me up more, I guess.

Working at the library Thursdays and Fridays during break. Currently, sitting in a very empty IRC room taking advantage of free ethernet while waiting for my supervisor to let me into the building. It's some extra money, which is always nice.

Christmas has come, but not gone quite yet, as I have relatives coming in tomorrow, and we need to do the gift-exchange thing with them either tomorrow or Sunday. I need to finish the cross-stitching I'm doing for a pillow for the new baby.

That's about that. Pretty much the hardest thing is trying to deal with Chip's death. But I'll get by, with a little help from my friends. (Ooh!) Gonna try with a little help from my friends...:)

Comments

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saphriel
Dec. 27th, 2002 09:19 am (UTC)
from your friends
Or at least, from me. :)
I'm sending you my sympathy and love to help with the loss of Chip. I am so sorry. In reading your post though, I can't help point out to you that the feelings of sadness that you have for Chip are the same ones (plus a lot more!) that we'd have if anything ever happened to you, Steph. You are invaluable to us, and it would be a great loss to everyone who knows you (plus a bunch of people who don't yet!) if you ever took action on your suicidal thoughts. It scares me, that is was "sheer luck" that you didn't. I don't want to lose you, Steph, especially not from a couple of days of "bad luck."
Remember your setau uta.
And remember that we, your friends, love you dearly.
Te quiero mucho, chica.
grimhild
Dec. 28th, 2002 09:57 pm (UTC)
Hey, there. Here's another voice saying he's glad you're around. Missing you, even. But that's another story. Take care of you, and feel loved, 'cause you are.

--Pulling Himself Up, Too
(Anonymous)
Dec. 30th, 2002 10:19 am (UTC)
::bighugehonkinhugs!!!:: I will again apologize for not being around as much as I feel I ought to be, whether that's more or less than you actually need me around. I'm so sorry about Chip; it's always hard to lose someone close, especially when they're so relatively young. I totally agree with Saphriel that we who love you would feel quite similarly if you were to commit suicide. (And if I have to guilt you into staying alive, by the gods that's what I'll do! So :P! Because I love you.) I'm glad you were able to talk to Brian, too. You enjoy your ethernet (lucky wench!) and take care of yourself. I look forward to seeing you again.
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