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A little while later...

Yes, I'm doing better. Much talking, crying, and taking my fershluggin' Zoloft helped muchly. Though it disturbs me that I may be this dependant (dependent? I can never remember) on outside chemicals for my emotional well-being. Mrph.

And now, to rest. For there is much thesising to be done on the morrow.

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candy_angel_sfl
Mar. 29th, 2003 01:48 am (UTC)
i am on xanax for panic disorder and tofranil for depression :\ a few of my lj friends are on meds...
i worry about having to be dependent on them too. i have been on meds for only 3 months, and already i dont want to go through the rest of my life depending on a pill :(
i have been writing some in my journal about the crap in my head... its helping to get it out. most people had no clue about my panic and depression. just my bf. it does feel good not to hide it anymore, and its nice to be able to post about it, i find lots of support here, even from people i dont know in RL.
i am happy your feeling better :)
candy_angel_sfl
Mar. 29th, 2003 02:19 am (UTC)
i meant to ask you, do you have panics, depression or both?
oddly enough as i was posting to you a friend started having an attack... if you have them, this is an amazingly accurate description of how it feels.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/super_soul/89501.html
knittinggoddess
Mar. 29th, 2003 02:56 am (UTC)
Ahhhh...depending on medications. For me, the dilemma was usually frustration that I didn't have a normal brain and that I needed to depend on strange chemicals to make myself normal.
How you end up dealing with this is up to you. My mom tried to get me to take my medication by comparing it to antibiotics and vitamin C. As in, sometimes your body just needs a little help.
I took my Ritalin last year by reminding myself that if I didn't, I'd likely flunk out of Reed and waste my parents' money.
According to Dylan & my psych, SSRIs basically act as a lubricant for serotonin. They make it so there is more serotonin in the synapse (between the nerves in any case), which leads to higher levels of serotonin in the brain. Which means a happier you. It doesn't add anything to the brain that wasn't there before.

Wow. I just rested my head on my knees and almost drifted off. I'm going to bed.
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