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God bloody dammit!

And everything was going so well...I opened my email to find a message from Kris. AKA Bastard-ex-boyfriend-from-high-school. The boy honestly treated me like dirt, told me at one point to go ahead and kill myself, etc., etc. I haven't actually heard anything from him since March of 2000, and suddenly he's emailing me again. hello. havent talked to you in about 2 yrs now i guess it is. just was
wondering how you have been and how life has been treating you. not 100%
sure ill ever get a responce to this but hey i tried right... anywho...
maybe ill hear fro you maybe i wont.

Kris


Now, here's the deal. I basically just stopped talking to him - no answering his emails, nothing like that. We'd be broken up for awhile (woo, that was fun, let me tell you), and he started being an ass again, so I just stopped responding to him. Because it was so sudden, I've always felt a little like there's some unfinished business there, or something. So the question is, do I write him back? And if so, what do I say? Ideas, anyone?

Comments

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mustela
Apr. 18th, 2003 12:10 am (UTC)
Don't write him back.
saphriel
Apr. 18th, 2003 12:30 am (UTC)
Silence is golden.

He's not worth replying to EVER. Block his e-mails, if you possibly can, or delete them as they arrive.

The unfinished business sounds like bad news to me. Let your life be now and proceeding into the future, not stirring up muddy waters from your past.

There. That's my two cents.

Seriously, though, he doesn't deserve a reply, and you don't deserve any further harassment from him. There are PLENTY of other people to spend your time sending e-mails to, I promise.
grimhild
Apr. 18th, 2003 10:51 am (UTC)
hmm...
I'd say that it depends on how badly you need that possible unfinished business to be resolved. If you're pretty sure that nothing but pain will come of it, then go ahead and block away. If you think you could grow and/or gain confidence in yourself from it, then it might be worthwhile. I suppose that an equivalent question would be, if you instead magically obtained his email address out of the blue, and knew that he would probably write back if you wrote him, would you? (I think that that'd simplify the situation by taking the seeming-responsibility-to-respond-because-he-wrote-to-you issue out of the picture).

As far as what to say if you did write, I've no clue. I'd suspect that it would involve a way to get what you would want (resolution, if anything?) out of the interchange, with only enough frills to make him want to give it to you. And I suppose you could easily block him once you know where that's going.

But again, I recommend thinking about how much pain is likely to come out of it on your end, and about whether you'd be willing to put up with that to resolve any unfinished business between the two of you.
grimhild
Apr. 18th, 2003 10:52 am (UTC)
hmm...
I'd say that it depends on how badly you need that possible unfinished business to be resolved. If you're pretty sure that nothing but pain will come of it, then go ahead and block away. If you think you could grow and/or gain confidence in yourself from it, then it might be worthwhile. I suppose that an equivalent question would be, if you instead magically obtained his email address out of the blue, and knew that he would probably write back if you wrote him, would you? (I think that that'd simplify the situation by taking the seeming-responsibility-to-respond-because-he-wrote-to-you issue out of the picture).

As far as what to say if you did write, I've no clue. I'd suspect that it would involve a way to get what you would want (resolution, if anything?) out of the interchange, with only enough frills to make him want to give it to you. And I suppose you could easily block him once you know where that's going.

But again, I recommend thinking about how much pain is likely to come out of it on your end, and about whether you'd be willing to put up with that to resolve any unfinished business between the two of you.


What, you expected a straight answer?
redsouffle
Apr. 20th, 2003 12:39 am (UTC)
STUPID EX
KILL KILL KILL
I mean, uh, fuck 'em anyway. Asshole. Helpful, aren't I?
(Anonymous)
Apr. 21st, 2003 08:46 pm (UTC)
I guess I have to agree with both opinions that were up there. What do you want to get out of this? Do you think you'd be able to resolve anything with this guy? It sounds like he was such a jerk then, he's probably not any better now and you'd be setting yourself up for more pain if you return the correspondance. Again, what are you looking for and do you think you'll really be able to achieve that goal? If yes, then give it a shot, and you can always tell him to go to hell and block his e-mails later. If no, then why bother? My $0.03...

~me :*
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