So, Eric's home sick today, which meant I had to drive in by myself. Normally this isn't a big issue, but there were parts of the road that were icy on the way in. In particular, there's an overpass leading to the freeway that was a solid block of ice. Leading up to that overpass the road was dry, so it almost seemed to come out of nowhere. I knew that overpass would be slick, so I slowed down, but I still fishtailed as soon as I hit that part. The car in front of me and the car behind me both did the same thing, and there was an obvious spin-out accident on the side of the road to avoid, as well.

Fortunately, we managed to avoid hitting each other, and I made it to work safely. It still scared the crud out of me, but I didn't really realize how much until I got to work. I'd been at work for about an hour before I started shaking and freaking - it was the first full-blown anxiety attack I've had in awhile. Luckily, my office has what they call the "quiet room" - a locked room with chairs and a sofa where you can go to nap, talk on your cell phone, whatever. It was open, so I went up, freaked out for a minute, and managed to calm myself down enough to make it through. No medication, and I didn't call anyone, and I got through. That's the first time I've been able to do that by myself.

I'm rather proud of myself. All I need to do now is get through the day and make it home safely. So far, so good.

I think i've reached the point where my reserves have run dry. Emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually...I'm WIPED.

I'm not going to go into a lot of details - suffice it to say that it's been a stressful year with spikes of major stress. Good stress, bad stress, it doesn't matter. My body's rebelling - there are issues I haven't fully dealt with, losses that haven't been grieved, and it's manifesting in the forms of fatigue, depression, and most likely some of these cursed headaches. My anxiety attacks are worse than ever, I'm losing the ability to deal with people in any capacity, and I can't seem to get into a cycle of taking care of myself, much less anyone else. It's not a place I much like being.

If you don't see or hear much from me for awhile, don't worry. I need to build my reserves back up. I feel like an awful wuss for saying that, but the truth is, I can't handle too much right now. I'm not really ok. I need to get back to being ok again.