I ended up talking to Dani for a long time today. She's in my cast, and it turns out that she's been feeling a lot like I have been here - intimidated, wondering what she's doing here, unsure of her abilities, that sort of thing. She gave me the idea to find some sort of internship for next summer to do some sort of film makeup work. I may look into finding a film crew to work for the summer - even if it's just, say, powder-wench or something, it's a chance to get a foot in the door and see what it's like.
I think I'm coming to the conclusion that actually being onstage may not be feasible as a profession. I honestly don't think I'm good enough. Makeup's such a seemingly insignificant thing, but coming up with ideas to alter a person's appearance and how that affects their character - I get so excited thinking about it, even. Just putting it on someone, teaching them how to do it, even when it's not my design...who knows?
We also ended up talking about religion a bit, which helped me gel some of the ideas I hadn't quite been able to pin down before in this respect. She and I don't see completely eye to eye - while we both agree that the different denominations are just different trappings for the same core beliefs, she believes that as long as people believe in Christ as saviour (basically, so long as they're Christian in some form), then they're fine; I believe that, so long as what a person believes a) makes that person feel better/comfortable about life (one of the main purposes of religion, to me), b) doesn't hurt anyone else and c)doesn't hurt the person holding the belief (i.e. holding a belief that requires frequent self-mutilation or life-endagering procedures - yes, I realize there are many examples of this in religion, and I think this point would be one I'd have to explain better in person than here, or spend an entire entry trying to do so), so long as a belief does this, then c'est la vie - whatever floats your goat. (Good grief, that was a long sentence.) In many other places, though, she and I did agree about things - it was so nice to talk to someone about this kind of thing who wasn't jaded and cynical about the whole institution of religion, like so many people at school back home tend to be. I don't know if she and I will become great friends, but it was probably the best conversation I've had with someone here. It really did make me miss home and my friends, though -I miss having long, meandering, in-depth (or not) conversations about the universe and the nature of everything from religion to pizza toppings.
Four weeks and some change. That's all I have left.