August 25th, 2001

XBox Me

Rambling self-flagellation

Idiot. Moron. Stupid. I can't believe that last entry - the more I thought about what he wrote, the more I could rationalize it away. And tonight - watching him watching Julia - dolt. Why in the world would he be the slightest bit interested in me? Especially when Julia's around - dammit, why does she ahve to be so everything? Pretty and popular and caring and funny and sweet and everything to turn attention to her and awy from the rest of us lowly peons. Not that it isn't deserved, of course - comparitively, the girl's close enough to what most guys want to make everyone else (read that: me) seem insignificant and just rotten. Not to mention petty, which is where I am now.

I just want to go home, and not think about any of this for a long time. I may do that tomorrow - I don't know how much more of this I can stand.