September 17th, 2001

XBox Me

"Don't be social or anything"

Those words ended up leading to one of those wonderfully uncomfortable meals where you barely know the people at your table, and your friends/acquaintances/whatever are on the other side of the room. I did my usual bit - eat fast, say little, go and hide. I checked out a book fromt he library - I haven't read this much in ages. It's a book of plays by Bernard Shaw - I haven't read nearly enough of him.

Even now, I'm doing it again - the rest of the group is swing-dancing while I'm effectively hiding in the corner, writing. One day, I'll figure out why I do it. I honestly don't know why, but I've done it my entire life - just randomly decided to cut myself off.

Diarius interruptus (speaking of getting cut off).
XBox Me

Later in the day

Currently hiding in the library, after having done my reading for theatre history for Thursday. The library's wonderful - I think I'm just going to pick a playwright a week or so and work my way through the works. This week, it's Shaw.

I spent most of high comedy today half zoned out, half-dreaming of people visiting and worrying about money. I think I should be able to get away with between £30-50 a week - now it's just a matter of making sure I actually have that much to get me through. I think so, but I'm not sure. I really detest not having enough money. I hope Ma starts working soon - then maybe I wouldn't feel so bad about asking her for money if it comes to that. God, I hope not...maybe Richard instead. I don't know. I don't want to have to. I just won't buy stuff if I can avoid it, cut down on internet, all that stuff.

God, I hate being poor.

Dance class next (excuse me, movement), then home. I may or may not post this tonight. I don't know! God, I'm whining like a small child - maybe I will just make this private. Nobody wants to read this kind of thing anyway. I can barely stand to read it, even.