October 7th, 2002

XBox Me

(no subject)

So.

He tells me he's unhappy, he tells me he's not sure if he wants to be my boyfriend anymore, he can't give me any kind of actual reason why.

We talk again. He says he still wants and needs me in his life, he wants to be something of my best friend, he's not overly thrilled with the idea of friendship I lay out for him (really, more of passing acquaintances - the big point being that he wouldn't be someone I would run to if I was having trouble, because he said he didn't want to be my main support system).

We talk again. He says the major problem was that we didn't have separate lives. We continue talking. The time we'd spent together had honestly been not all that different from when we were dating, other than the fact that I didn't feel like I could touch him. We come up with something of a plan - to not depend entirely on each other for company, to have lives away from each other, but to still enjoy the time we have together - as something more than friends. Basically, taking it back about five steps from where we were before, and being (gasp!) healthier about the whole fershlugging thing.

He still wants time to think about it - basically, to decide if this is what he wants, or if he would be happier just being my friend, and nothing more. Indications seem to be pointing toward the new improved relationship, but I think I'm at the point that if he decides otherwise, I'll be ok. I've gotten through my moments of utter wretchedness, and as Saphriel reminded me, it's time for some of that mysterious strength.

I'm back. I'm not quite where I was before, but I think I can honestly say that I'm me once again.