October 10th, 2002

XBox Me

(no subject)

So the whole Matt thing has come to a (tentative) conclusion. Basically, we're giving it another shot, keeping in mind that we need to be keeping our focus on more things than just each other. What this means is that I can snuggle up with someone when I need to, and have lots of other friends and whatnot too. You know, that whole "healthier" aspect of the whole thing.

Thank heavens. If nothing else, it means that there's a bit less stress on me, which is good, because the academic stress is coming, oh yes indeedy, it's coming. I need more pages of my thesis by next week, and given this week, it's been kinda hard to focus on what I need to enough to get my ass thoroughly in gear. I think a weekend off-campus (with the two balls of fur that are my cats and, more importantly, my mother) will do me worlds of good. I'll come back, get through next week, and then it'll be fall break. Fortunately, I've stayed caught-up in my regular classes, so I don't have much to worry about there - thank the deity of your choice for fluff classes one's senior year.

My only real concern left is Eric, Matt's best friend. He's the one Matt first went to when things started getting bad last week, and I'm not entirely sure he's happy with things the way they are now - I get the feeling he's afraid I convinced Matt to be with me when Matt doesn't want to. It's reasonable, I guess, but I don't want to feel like he's disapproving all the time, since I want to stay friends with Eric, as well - he's good people. I guess I'll just have to wait to see how things go when he isn't having such an (apparently) bad day, and if things start looking that way, I'll find a way to talk to him about it. No more leaving stuff undealt-with. Just plain not healthy.

On the upside of things, I've rediscovered the joy of doing something unexpectedly nice for someone else. Yesterday, it was covering a classmate's (read that: someone I talk to in class, but have trouble remembering his name out of class) cookies, when I saw he was about to pay cash for them and I had my board card. He looked pleased and vaguely puzzled (actually, REALLY puzzled) by the whole affair. I like that reaction. Today, just a little while ago, it was...well, just trying to make a couple of lives a bit sweeter for a couple of folks who have been having more than their fair share of nearly-unmanageable stress.

Now, to grab some books from my thesis desk (newly adorned with the Official Cheer-Up Baby Chick, care of Brian), and then home to work and then, to sleep.
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