October 16th, 2002

XBox Me

State of Steph report

So. Those of you who know me offscreen may know that I've been...less than happy lately.

I've had a problem with clinical depression for most of my life. It wells up and gets worse, and then abides and gets suppressed and sometimes even I almost forget about it. Almost. When it gets bad, I feel...worthless. Angry. Lonely. Hurt. Above all, hurt.

I was like this when I tried to kill myself the summer I graduated from high school.

I was feeling like this again.

I'm getting help - I've been in therapy for about three weeks now, knowing that this could happen and originally wanting to stop it, but unfortunately, coming too late for that. So, now I'm pulling myself out. For once, I've got help, and I think I'll be able to actually defeat it once and for all, rather than suppress it and act like nothing happened.

It's going to be a struggle, but I'm going to make it.

So, that's me. How are you guys doing?
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    Assassins - Stephen Sondheim