October 29th, 2002

XBox Me

Oy

So, just when I'm starting to get a handle on things emotionally (counseling going well, I started on Zoloft this morning - more on that in a sec), even to the point of having a serious discussion with my mother about the whole bloody mess and convincing her that there is actually something wrong, and what happens?

I get a cold.

Now, I am by far one of the most miserable sick people known to man. I complain, I whine like nobody's business, I have difficulty breathing at every turn (or at least, when there are at least two other people in the room who are trying to do something that requires quiet), and I'm achy as all hell. So, needless to say, this is not the happiest Stephie we've seen in awhile.

But, I'm making progress, slowly but surely. I'm starting to recognize the signs of a really "bad turn", the ones where I start beating myself up (literally, in some cases) and hurting to the point of...well, yeah. And the meds are...interesting. I think I'm going to have to be sure to take them before I go to bed, rather than when I first get up, because I ended up spending a good chunk of today in bed either asleep or jittery as anything. I think I had about 4 mini-mood swings in the space of an hour. Oy. My body will adjust soon enough, I hope.

In the meantime...it's back to writing that "research paper" (aka pages of my thesis) that are due on Thursday. I've got enough research done to write at least half of it - I think I'm going to need more than that before I can start translating, but maybe I can outline that research without writing everything up just yet. We shall see. I don't go home until I get at least two pages written.

*sniff* Oh, to breathe easily again...
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