June 3rd, 2004

fiona

Gripe, whine, pout

So.

Tomorrow afternoon, Ma and I leave for Colorado for a week. We'll be back on the 10th, and then I'll be frantically packing and whatnot until the Move on the 15th.

i'll have my cell phone on me and on while I'm in Colorado, so if anybody wants the number, let me know and I'll email it to you. I'll most likely not be able to stay caught up with LJ, and only check my email once a day or so. So if you don't hear much from me next week, it's not because I don't love you. :)

I'm...not quite looking forward to this trip. On the one hand, this is family I haven't seen in a long time, including my one remaining grandparent. On the other hand...well, there's a lot on the other hand. I haven't been back there since Christmas of '99, which was also the last time I've been to Daddy's grave. This is going to be hard. Really, core-shakingly hard. Hopefully, I'll be able to do that either alone or with just my mother - there are some folks there that I do not want to have to share that moment with.

Also on the other hand...the Twig. Every family tree has that one twig that everyone would love to snap off, and mine is no exception. The Twig consists of V., my father's adopted cousin (referred to as the Space Cadet by my father), her husband P., and their sons B. and A. B. is a year older than I, A. a week younger. A. is now married, and B. is apparently now dating someone - a "good Christian woman," no doubt. As the boys are so close to my age, my childhood has been spent being compared to them. As they were the athletic type, and I'm very much not, they made it rather clear that being the athletic type was more important. I tended to spend most of my time curled up with a book, particularly when the Twig is visiting, which merits me many a snide comment. Many of them were meant to be insults, I'm sure, but telling me I'm just like my father isn't an insult in my world.

*sigh* I'm not fond of transition. I'd much rather just warp from one constancy to the next, with as little transition as possible in between. Alas, it's not to be. I can't wait until I'm moved in, with a job. Once I have a routine again, I'll feel more like myself, I believe. In the meantime, I'll be treating y'all to my griping, whining, and moping. Enjoy! :) Seriously, though, you guys have been awesome, and much help in getting me through the crap that is now. So many thanks, my friends.