April 14th, 2005


She lives!

Mostly. It's been one of those...well, several of those days.

I really wish I knew exactly what was going on. I've been hitting the panic level several times the last few days, to the point that I ran out on Game Night last night (all you Game Night folks reading this, I'm *really* sorry about that). I worry that I'm not doing well at work (there's a work rant coming, eventually, I think), and that I'm just...not right.

I'm sick and tired of dealing with the panic. The depression's not great, but it's not nearly as profound and soul-crushing as it has been in years past - a snuggle from Eric or (in a pinch) one of the kitties, and I'm ok again. The panic, though...it just comes out of nowhere and BAM! I'm sobbing, screaming, unable to breathe (except to sob and scream, of course), and I can't figure out why. That's the worst of it. It's like every little stress and worry of the day, rather than fading away after awhile, just keeps building up until there's one last little thing and down I go.

Back to work now. It's gotta get better, right?