My uncle Paul, my father's only sibling, is in the hospital. He's not expected to last the day.
This week marks the ninth anniversary of my father's death.
I don't know if I can handle this.
I'm doing...better-ish. I took my boss up on her offer to let me go home, because the massive freak-out in the bathroom pretty much guaranteed that I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on work. Incidentally, for as much as I bitch about work, my boss is much with the awesome.
At any rate, I'm home now, after getting some comfort food (and then not eating two-thirds of it - meh, it'll be dinner tonight, I guess) and bookstore air. I'm currently self-medicating with ice cream and Order of the Stick (the new book arrived today :) ), and just trying not to think. I haven't heard anything else from my cousins as of yet, but it's pretty danged scary. I've NEVER heard my cousin sound so scared before. Mine was the only phone number he had, so I got to be the phone tree for Mom and Rich. I'm getting the feeling that I'll be acting as the family ambassador if/when Uncle Paul goes - Mom and Rich are both unsure if they'll be able to get the time off, whereas my company will let me take the time unpaid if need be. They're not real fond of the idea, but they understand that family stuff happens and it needs to be dealt with.
My aunt's not taking things very well. She and my uncle are from another generation, relationship-wise, and I think she's having a hard time coping with the idea of handling all the day-to-day stuff of bills and upkeep of the house and such by herself. When my uncle first went into the hospital about four months ago (he's been in and out ever since), she tried to ask him about the bills and things like that. He took it to mean that he was dying right that second, and freaked. So, she wasn't able to get any information from him. Now, nobody's real sure what's going to happen. I wouldn't be surprised if she ends up moving in with one of my cousins, which would break her heart - she's been in that house for about thirty years now. It's where both my cousins grew up, and their kids have started growing up.
Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. With luck, Uncle Paul will pull through this. Stranger things have happened.