Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Running out of time?

So, one of my co-workers (the former cheerleader) is about two months younger than I am. So she's 25. Her best friend just found out last month that she's pregnant (by the guy she's been with for seven years), and today he proposed to her. So, now she's engaged.

This has led to a huge-honkin' rant from my co-worker, who is single currently. As far as she's concerned, she's running out of time to meet someone, get to know him, plan the wedding, and have her first kid. She wants to do all of this by the time she's 30, because she seems to believe that after that will be too late for any of it.

Now, I admit that I was the one who proposed to Eric. And I admit that I was engaged once before (to Matt, and the actual engagement lasted about a month before we realized that it was too big a step). With Matt, I honestly think it had more to do with the fact that I felt him moving away, and I wanted to keep him with me. It was a bad reason, and thank heavens we realized that before things got much further. Though, I will admit that I miss the ring - it was pretty.

Even for all that, I can't say that I ever really had the wedding crazies. I kinda figured that I would get married eventually, and that was enough for me. I wasn't in a hurry to get married in general - I wanted to marry ERIC, specifically, not horribly long after I moved in with him and realized that this kind of life was something I could definitely get used to. I never felt that much of a rush to get married and have kids or anything like that, and I certainly don't feel like I'm too old (well, not in that regard - with regards to school, that's a whole other post).

So, tell me - is this running timer a common phenomenon? (Doo doo de-doo doo) And does it usually hit at 25? It just struck me as odd, is all.



( 7 bubbles — Blow a bubble )
Jul. 27th, 2006 09:02 pm (UTC)
This concept is a big one in certain circles, ergo the term "biological clock". People's just go "DING!" at different times. I'd say 25 is a bit on the early side, but about when it starts.
Jul. 27th, 2006 09:36 pm (UTC)
I wanted to marry ERIC, specifically, not horribly long after I moved in with him and realized that this kind of life was something I could definitely get used to.
Y'know, you have never (to my knowledge) articulated this exact thought, before. Certainly not to me.

It's like the discussion yesterday - we may have the same conversation six million times, and every time it's different.
Jul. 27th, 2006 11:14 pm (UTC)
In this area, getting married is definately something of a low key event.

Back east, or especially in much more "traditional" places like Britan, Japan, etc. the push from society for women to get married is much stronger, and the "freak out" factor can be much more pronounced.

Also, I've noticed that it seems to be most prevalent when someone you know gets married/engaged (especially if they're a close friend). I personally think that's why weddings always come in clumps.
Jul. 27th, 2006 11:38 pm (UTC)
I have no way of knowing. Living with someone at 18, married by 21, baby by 22 and 26, divorced by 28.

I have to say, getting married at 29 was very cool, but by then, my biological clock at ticked out.
Jul. 28th, 2006 05:08 am (UTC)
I think it hits everyone at different times. I had my first baby when I was 24. But that was always the plan for me. College, wedding, baby. I never even heard the clock ticking. Now I'm 36 and I'm past the ability to have children (well I can't have any more) and I wish I could even though I would be over 50 by the time they graduated high school.

My point is that these days, nothing is really "normal". Do what feels right.
Jul. 28th, 2006 01:38 pm (UTC)
Yeah, after 30 it's harder for women to conceive, and some people grow up with a few too many fairy tales and sitcoms, which make them think that if they don't find a mate they're automatically a failure. Which is not true. But yeah, I think it's pretty common.
Jul. 28th, 2006 03:16 pm (UTC)
well, i got divorced (childless) at 25. I still want to be married and have kids, but i just turned 40 (mein gott!) so i think that the kids bit is probably out for me. it was never a frenzy; i've always wanted to meet a good man first, and go from there on. i've met a few good ones, but none that jibed enough with me to solidify an 'us' like you and eric have, stephanie. so i remain single, childless, and unfrenzied, if not somewhat saddened by the answer i just typed.
( 7 bubbles — Blow a bubble )

Latest Month

May 2015


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner