'Course, I keep using the word "now". I don't think any doors have been closed on the subject - after all, he does like me (and not Julia - to quote "yeah, I kinda half-thought about it for a minute, but, nah."). Basically, I'm thinking we'll be good friends, and if things happen when i get back, then great. If not - I can honestly say I won't be crushed.
Could it be that I'm growing up? Good heavens.
Now, I just have to deal with sore hands from a long night of sobbing and clenching and hitting. It was bad last night - Jason, I'm sorry. The first thing Ma said when I mentioned it to her was "what are you doing, doing that to somebody?" "What was I supposed to do?" "Deal with it!" And people wonder why I have a hard time opening up.
I think it's time for sleep. Time's running out, but I'm feeling a lot calmer and a bit less guilty now.