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Dammit, dammit, dammit...I'm at work, I don't have time for this, why did I have to start thinking about Dad? I wish I could just skip over the next two months - no Father's day, and above all, no Fourth of July. I can't deal with this.

How would he have reacted to me being ready to graduate college? What would he have thought? And why the hell can't I know for sure? Who decided I didn't need my father anymore? Who decided that I needed to go through the rest of my life, through all of the major events of my life, wondering what Dad would have thought?

Dammit...and I can't find Matt to talk to him, because of everything else, and he probably wouldn't be able to do much anyway, and...dammit, I can't do this.

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xtiana
May. 31st, 2002 04:36 pm (UTC)
I can't really relate to how you feel, but I understand that it must be painful. I'm sure that it doesn't seem fair, but you aren't alone. A couple of my friends don't have fathers either. I know its hard to not think about it, but maybe if you keep yourself busy until you have someone you can let it all out to. I don't know..I'm babbling I guess. I hope you feel better and realize father or no father, you're still a wonderful person. :)
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