Setaú úta (setauuta) wrote,
Setaú úta

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It's been hard...

Lately, I seem to have hit the angst lottery. Losing the Baron-cat was really hard, especially when I went to visit my mom the weekend after it happened. I hadn't been to see her so close to losing one of the cats before (she's lost two others in the past couple of years, the other being the Milky-cat and my favorite cat ever, not even excluding Ramses), and we both had to deal with the momentary forgetting, and then remembering again - she almost went to the pet store to get his favorite food, before she remembered. Cue waterworks from both of us.

He was also the last of the "family" cats - he's the last one who knew my dad. Honestly, my dad was probably his favorite person, because Dad would sit still and let him curl up on his lap while he read for hours, and Dad didn't have anything to do with taking Baron to the vet, so clearly Dad was Good People. While Mom still has cats, they're "her" cats, not "family" cats, and it's hard. Yes, it's been almost 13 years since Dad died, but it's still hard to lose the last bits that we had of him. It's like a new loss every time, and it just tears at the wound a bit more.

On top of that, the depression keeps coming in waves, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. There's other stuff, too, but I don't know how much I want to "talk" about it in "public", as it were. Suffice to say that I'm not the best person to be around right now, and that's annoying no one so much as it is me.

Ah, LiveJournal - the best place in the world to rant and whine. You'll never truly be replaced by Twitter, et al.
Tags: cats, whine
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