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I'm done

This whole buying a house thing? I've reached the point where I have no blessed idea what the hell is going on, and we need to do things ZOMGNAO and there are papers to be signed and a mysterious sum from the sellers that maybe might be coming but maybe not and maybe the bank will allow it and maybe they won't and I'm just DONE. I hate it, but I've asked Eric to take it from here on this part, because I literally have no idea what half the stuff he and our real estate agent are talking about. NONE.

Between that, the various stresses of work (we still haven't hired my backfill after my promotion, and another team is down two people, so they've asked for help as well, and half a dozen things are getting ready to happen soon-ish), dealing with a bunch of people shouting at us on a not-infrequent basis (really, protesters? Either go away, or bring pie.), I've been a stressball of epic proportions for weeks, and everything seems to be suffering. I have anti-anxiety meds, and I can take half of one pill and drink something caffeinated and not fall asleep at work - that's about the best I can hope for at this point. I HATE being dependent on medication, though, as several of you know, but some days, it's either that or curling up under my desk and hiding, and I'm pretty sure my boss won't let me do that.

On another, weird, note - coming back from an off-site meeting this morning with a couple of people I know ish (like, we say hi in the kitchen and such, but we don't work on the same team or work together on a regular basis), and somehow the fact that my father was in the military came up. Both of them responded with "THAT explains it!", and proceeded to try to delicately explain what the hell "it" was. One of them was fairly complimentary - "you always strike me as needing to make sure everything is running smoothly and correctly if it's on your watch" - I can deal with that. It means I'm a control freak, but I knew that.

The other, though..."OK, listen to what I'm saying, not the words I'm using. You have an...edge...to you. In a good way!" OK, guys? Little FYI - "in a good way" rarely works to make whatever you just said not sound bad. I'm...not really sure how to take that. An edge? Maybe? I dunno. Like I said, these are people I don't know extremely well, but that almost makes it worse - it means that this is the public face I'm giving off. What do you guys think? (Why yes, I am shamelessly soliciting opinions of me - it is LJ, after all. :) )

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pict_shrink
Jun. 2nd, 2012 01:45 pm (UTC)
I'm not quite sure what the "edge" means... Control freak - sorta; it's not like you necessarily want to be in charge of everyone else, but you really wanna be in charge of what's happening to you. Which totally makes sense.
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