So, I know full well that my regular doctor is not a specialist, but considering he's the one that first pointed me in the direction of PCOS, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. The ultrasound seems to indicate PCOS (which is what we expected, so there's that), but it also indicated that I have fibroids in my uterus. Basically, there are benign tumors growing in my uterine walls (at least one of them is pretty big, and there are probably more than one), and they're growing into my uterus. My doctor said that he would obviously defer to the gynecologist, but he said that if the symptoms from the fibroids are bad enough (meaning the super-heavy periods and cramps that make me hate life), then surgery would be an option. He said that frequently, if there are many fibroids and they are causing major pain and bleeding, that the treatment would involve a hysterectomy.
So, basically, my doctor thinks pregnancy would be a "steep uphill battle" without help, be that fertility drugs, surgery, or some combination of both. I still have an appointment next week with the gynecologist, and I'm going to get her take on all of this, but...it's not looking good.
At this point, my focus is on doing what I need to in order for me to be healthy. I'm not going to get treatments specifically for the purpose of allowing me to become pregnant - Eric and I had decided that in the beginning, and I still feel it's the right course of action. However, now it's not just about not getting pregnant - it's about my overall health. I need to see what needs to be done, and take things from there. However, it's looking more and more likely that Eric and I aren't going to be parents.
I am...surprisingly at peace. I would have expected to be more upset, but frankly, if this is what it's going to be, I still have a damn fine life. It means that I'll have an even greater obligation to spoil the hell out of my nephews and niece (as well as the kids of my friends, so beware! :) ), and I think I can live with that. It says a lot about how far I've come that something like this, during a week I'd be at my lowest, isn't sending me into a pit of depression. I'm sad, certainly, but...I guess "resigned" is the best way to put it. It's bittersweet, and Eric and I had a long talk about it last night, but I think at this point, we're willing to call the game.