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He tells me he's unhappy, he tells me he's not sure if he wants to be my boyfriend anymore, he can't give me any kind of actual reason why.

We talk again. He says he still wants and needs me in his life, he wants to be something of my best friend, he's not overly thrilled with the idea of friendship I lay out for him (really, more of passing acquaintances - the big point being that he wouldn't be someone I would run to if I was having trouble, because he said he didn't want to be my main support system).

We talk again. He says the major problem was that we didn't have separate lives. We continue talking. The time we'd spent together had honestly been not all that different from when we were dating, other than the fact that I didn't feel like I could touch him. We come up with something of a plan - to not depend entirely on each other for company, to have lives away from each other, but to still enjoy the time we have together - as something more than friends. Basically, taking it back about five steps from where we were before, and being (gasp!) healthier about the whole fershlugging thing.

He still wants time to think about it - basically, to decide if this is what he wants, or if he would be happier just being my friend, and nothing more. Indications seem to be pointing toward the new improved relationship, but I think I'm at the point that if he decides otherwise, I'll be ok. I've gotten through my moments of utter wretchedness, and as Saphriel reminded me, it's time for some of that mysterious strength.

I'm back. I'm not quite where I was before, but I think I can honestly say that I'm me once again.


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Oct. 7th, 2002 03:56 pm (UTC)
I'm glad that you aren't going to let a guy, or anyone for that matter get you down. I admire that.
Oct. 7th, 2002 04:34 pm (UTC)
Sure, that's how I am now. This past weekend, however...well, let's just say there was a lot of violent sobbing involved. I think it's one of those things that just needs to get out of your system before you can function properly again.
Oct. 7th, 2002 07:13 pm (UTC)
You are so strong. Everyone has to cry though, and I'm glad you are getting through these feelings instead of bottling them up. That's a dangerous (and high pressure) game.

*sigh* I'm so glad you're you. You rock, you know.
Let's get together and talk at some point, I'd like to connect up with you and just be emotionally supportive in general, even if you don't need it a whole bunch right now. It'll make me feel better! :)

**lots of hugs**
Oct. 7th, 2002 09:45 pm (UTC)
That sounds like a fabulous plan. I'm just not sure when we can do it - this week is kinda hellish (not in the too-much-work, not-enough-time sense, but in the so-many-commitments, not-enough-time sense), but we'll figure something out for sure. And thanks, dear. You know I'm around if you need me, too, for anything.
Oct. 7th, 2002 11:38 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm glad you figured things out.
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