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Dear Daddy,

Well, it's coming up on five years since you passed away. There isn't a day that I don't feel your absence. It's always the hardest around the fourth of July, not only because it's when you died but because it's so dang hard to pretend it's just another day.

My favorite fourth of Julys were when we were living in Spain, and all of us would stand on the roof and watch the base fireworks display. That way, we could avoid the crowds and still see the fireworks. I remember that you never really liked crowds either. I guess I got that trait from you.

I really miss you, Daddy. I wish you could have seen me walk across the stage at graduation. I'd like to think that I made you proud of me before you died, but I'm honestly not sure. I feel like I never did anything before that - I hadn't even graduated from high school. Now, I have a bachelor's degree and I'm going to be working on a master's degree soon.

I also wish you could see Emmy. I know Rich misses you like mad, especially since he's a father now. I know you would adore the little one, even if you didn't like little kids.

I wish you could be here, Daddy. I miss you so much. I hate knowing that I never got to say goodbye or see you one last time. I don't know if you suffered - I pray you didn't, but I'm not that naive. I just hope you're doing better wherever you are now, if you are anywhere. I wish I still had faith in something.

I love you, Daddy.


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Jul. 1st, 2003 11:47 pm (UTC)
~:~hugs~:~ I'm sure your father is VERY proud of you hon, wherever he is. I know I certainly am proud of all that you accomplished this year, even if I've only known you for one measly little year. :)

And personally, I think he saw you walk across that stage. And smiled at the bubbles. :)
Jul. 2nd, 2003 07:51 pm (UTC)
I know this must be really painful and tough for you. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
But I agree with Nick: I bet he saw you walk across the stage at graduation. And if he did that, surely he's been watching you grow up. And if he has, he's proud of you and still loves you.
Jul. 7th, 2003 09:44 am (UTC)
Ditto what they said, actually. ::big huge honkin' hugs::

me :*
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